How to Be Your True Self

Authored by RuPaul

Reality TV Host

There’s a magic within you that makes you who you are, and it’s your life’s work to find this frequency and let it shine. After all, you weren’t born to fit in—you were born to stand out. Society might tell you differently, but these tips from RuPaul will help you tune that out and become the person you are meant to be.

Part 1 of 10

Regularly practice stillness and meditation

If prayer is speaking to God, then meditation is listening to God. Even 30 seconds of meditation will allow the stillness to guide you toward your personal frequency. Remember to stretch and breathe.

Did you know?

Finding your personal frequency and being your true self feels like a well-worn jacket, a favorite pair of shoes, or the home you always wanted to live in.

Part 2 of 10

Identify and change your internal negative voices

Other people—whether it’s your parents, childhood bullies, or other past traumatic experiences—put those negative voices in your head, but your ego believes it’s you. Weed those voices from your mental garden, then replace them with positive voices. This negativity might never fully go away, but in time you’ll naturally react to it with self-love instead of self-loathing.

Did you know?

The darkness of the world can make you angry, then cynical, then bitter. You can look at this darkness, but don’t stare, because the more you focus on it the harder it is to move on.

Part 3 of 10

Comfort your inner child

Your inner child is looking to you for help and love. You can’t lie to your inner child, because they know your lies. You have to be sincere and tell the truth, and love them—love yourself—unconditionally.

Part 4 of 10

Acknowledge others so you can acknowledge yourself

It’s natural to want to say, “Good morning” as you pass other people on a walk. Acknowledging other people is the simplest act of human kindness, and it leads to acknowledging yourself. You cannot begin to love yourself until you acknowledge yourself.

Part 5 of 10

Challenge your anxiety by focusing on the present

Anxiety is often caused by trauma from the past or worries about the future. Instead, stay in the present. Breathe, be aware of how you feel in the moment, and accept the emotions you’re feeling.

Part 6 of 10

Follow your failures to the next big moment

Failure seems like a negative thing, but it just means you had an expectation you didn’t reach. Even if you fail, you still learned something about what does and doesn’t work for you, and that can still inspire you or lead to something else.

Did you know?

Being in the game is its own prize. It’s not about money or fame but about being of service to humankind and doing something beautiful from your heart.

Part 7 of 10

Don’t take things too seriously

Drag is a way to laugh at life and not take yourself too seriously. After all, so much of today’s society and life is an illusion. Your ego might want to remain angry, cynical, or bitter, but letting go of this will let you have more fun.

Part 8 of 10

Create environments where you can find joy

Utilize all the joy life has to offer. Give yourself plenty of opportunities to feel joy, whether it’s through singing, dancing, love, etc.

Part 9 of 10

Shape-shift into something new

Just as the sun rises and sets, you’ll frequently change throughout your life. Be flexible and embrace this on every level. You can become whatever your imagination wants, whether it’s a sex kitten, old marm, or pirate queen.

Part 10 of 10

Live as if you’re surrounded by unconditional love

Know that you are perfect exactly the way you are. Imagine a situation where you felt unconditional love, where you were accepted and cared about no matter what, and live your life like that.

Did you know?

It’s all about liking yourself, not trying to make other people like you. Your own frequency shines like a beacon that attracts like-minded people, and they’ll meet you with that same positive energy to be your true self.

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